Where Fun Comes to Die

Ever since it broke, the Blagojevich story has been weighing heavily on my heart. It’s not the corruption that bothers me. Blagojevich was right when he said that a Senate seat is “an [expletive] valuable thing,” (especially these days, when the government is throwing about hundreds of billions of dollars like a Macy’s parade Santa throwing out candies), and wanting to capitalize on valuable things is human nature. That’s not to condone it, but the basic impulse is understandable. Besides, it’s Illinois. People would become confused and frightened if the politicians didn’t steal. There’d be human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria! 

The corruption is distasteful, but to me it’s not the scariest thing about the story. The scary thing about the story is the fact that Governor Blagojevich was so bad at crime. When you know that you are the target of a corruption investigation, you should not openly plan criminal conspiracies over the phone or in your office. When picking a target to shake down, you should pick easier targets than President-Elect Obama, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. Anyone who’s watched The Sopranos or The Wire should be able to figure this stuff out. I don’t like the fact that a state governor, who should be a relatively sophisticated and saavy lawbreaker, doesn’t bother to take the precautions that two-bit coke dealers know to take. If a man can’t even solicit a bribe properly, how can we expect him to manage an entire state government?