Where Fun Comes to Die

In his feverish quest to make things as difficult as possible for Obama, Bush has been adopting a bunch of bothersome last-minute regulations.  He’s got nothing left to lose, so now he can do whatever he wants.  It’s like a presidential version of ‘Falling Down.’  However, I think that one of the last-minute regulations has got a lot of merit.

I speak, of course, of the regulation forcing hospitals and pharmacies to employ health care providers who won’t  provide birth control.  I love the idea of having regulations enacted so that fulfilling your religious beliefs is easy and painless.  It’s like getting the government to send a civil servant to go to church in your place.  As Jesus said to his disciples when sending them out to preach, “And if anyone will not receive you or listen, to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.  And then go lobby for regulations that will require the townspeople to listen to you politely or else face serious civil penalties.”  Matthew 10:14  

The problem with the rule is that it doesn’t go far enough.  I’m looking forward to a future in which all religiously-minded slackers will be permanently employed by government decree.  Observant Jews could get jobs at the hog farm, where they could read the newspaper, take frequent smoke breaks, and refuse to compromise their moral beliefs by touching unclean animals.  Lazy Quakers could get jobs at munitions factories, and spend the entire day surfing Youtube, and nobody could force them to violate their conscience and actually make some damn munitions.  It would be a paradise for those who observe every one of their faith’s strictures except the prohibition against sloth.   

OK, that’s enough sarcasm for now.  Even by Bush standards, these are some low shenanigans.  Anti-discriminations laws are fine and dandy, but I cannot understand regulations that require employers to hire people whose religious convictions prevent them from doing the job.  We all know that Bush is no fan of reproductive freedom, but why does he hate freedom of contract as well?